Bless the Hated
Erik. He/Him. 22. Gay. A mix of personal, fandom (Critical Role, TAZ, Tolkien, Good Omens), and non-fandom (artwork, photography, LGBT) content.
About Me
Target just sent me a notification with an advertisement for Valentine’s Day gifts for women and it’s like, assigned straight by Target???
My grandma was talking about how I don't really seem to have any aspirations and it's like, I started to be suicidal at 15 and didn't think I would live to see adulthood and I've had a sometimes underlying, sometimes pervasive state of suicidality since. I changed my major to something I hate because I wasn't smart enough to complete my first choice. I still haven't officially graduated because my brain's been fucked for 6+ months. I can't keep friendships because of anxiety and depression and, while I have a good relationship with my family, that doesn't make up for connections with people my age. The world seems like/is likely ending as we speak. I don't want to live under capitalism where my worth is determined by my ability to generate value via my labor. I would like to move to Germany, but at the same time I wouldn't. I want to continue my studies, but I don't want to continue the Business path I'm currently on and it's really only a way to pause the inevitable entering of the workforce. I just don't know what I want because it all seems bad and nothing seems worth pursuing???
Sitting on the couch with my dad while he laughs himself literally to tears looking at the snapchats he has sent people. Apparently he's very funny.
Wanting to be femme gay man while being a trans guy is so difficult. Like, I don’t even want to be that feminine, I just want to have long hair and be able to add some women’s clothes—like cardigans and scarves—to my wardrobe, but I hate being misgendered. I’d rather not present as my authentic self and not be misgendered than face being misgendered every day while being authentic, and it sucks that I have to choose. I walk such a thin line between being gendered correctly and being gendered incorrectly that I feel like, if I add anything to the feminine scale, I’ll just be constantly seen as a woman.
My dad saw that Target is selling romantic cards meant specifically for gay couples (so like, a man to a man or a woman to a woman, when romantic cards are usually heavily heterosexual) and he got so excited at seeing them that he bought some just so that there’d be more sales and Target would want to keep providing them. It’s very cute to see what he does to be a good ally.
@thoughts Yeah, I'll be posting them on Goodreads and maybe on Tumblr!
My Goodreads is erikraymonda, for anyone who'd like to be friends there.
Now that we're fifteen days into January, I've decided on my resolution: I want to start writing book reviews. Maybe not for every book I read but for the ones I actually have something to say about, which I'm hoping is at least half. It'd be cool to reach a point where I could do ARC reviews; like, where my opinion is valuable enough that authors would like me to say something about their book. I'm not planning on that happening this year, just as something to build towards.
I also think I need to be a little more strict about my ratings because I keep finding books that I literally don't remember at all that I've apparently given four stars to??? Like, I have a bad memory but you'd think I'd remember something from a book that I spent hours reading.
#eriks posts #I read basically only books in my mlm niche--a lot of which is self-published--so the authors generally don't feel so far away from their readers?? #so it's more likely that I'd be able to do book reviews in advance of the book being published than like big-name publishers or authors
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I love the footprints left after cleaning the car of snow. It's so funny to me lmao; just totally ringed by my steps.
Oh my god, so I put my nametag in my backpack at work when I finished my shift, and then I got home and started setting out my clothes for tomorrow and I just couldn't find my fucking nametag. I dumped out my backpack and rifled through the shopping bags in it and retraced my steps all over the house and it was nowhere??? I went through my backpack another two times and then I had the idea to reach into my mittens and it had fallen inside one of them??? Like, what are the odds? They're deerskin mittens (choppers), so they keep their shape but like, they were somehow facing with the hole up and my nametag fell into that small hole rather than anywhere else in my bag.
The grocery store I work at has these meal bags that have all of the ingredients to a meal inside along with a recipe card and there's this big sign that says, "Under $15!" overtop. I looked at the prices on all of the bags today and they were all $14.99 and it was like, it's technically true but it still feels somehow dishonest.
aurenfaie - Oh my god, so my brother been saving change in a piggy bank for years and it's completely full and weighs like 40lbs/18kg. He's decided now to empty it to use to help him buy a truck. It's so full that the coins won't come out by shaking alone and so we just had a scene where my brother held the piggy bank, I held a bag, and my mom fingered the pig to get the coins to come out. It was such an image to behold.
aurenfaie - 
Turned out it was 60lbs/27kg...
aurenfaie - Oh my god, so my brother been saving change in a piggy bank for years and it's completely full and weighs like 40lbs/18kg. He's decided now to empty it to use to help him buy a truck. It's so full that the coins won't come out by shaking alone and so we just had a scene where my brother held the piggy bank, I held a bag, and my mom fingered the pig to get the coins to come out. It was such an image to behold.
fungus - isnt this what breaking a piggy bank is for
aurenfaie - Yes, but my mother was Very Clear that it was not to be broken
Oh my god, so my brother been saving change in a piggy bank for years and it's completely full and weighs like 40lbs/18kg. He's decided now to empty it to use to help him buy a truck. It's so full that the coins won't come out by shaking alone and so we just had a scene where my brother held the piggy bank, I held a bag, and my mom fingered the pig to get the coins to come out. It was such an image to behold.